Wear'n Tear

Juice drips down my arm as I bite into a fuzzy orange peach. The flesh is soft between my teeth and the skin in chewy.  The cold fruit feels nice on my hand as does anything cold. Because I have tendinitis my wrist in always hurting.  The flaming hot tendons drive pain from my wrist up toward my fingers. It's a very frustrating problem that prohibits me from doing the things I love. I developed tendinitis nearly eight months ago simply from overuse and "wear'n tear" on my hand. The combination of typing, playing violin, and playing tennis began to strain my left wrist to the point where the pain kept me up at night.

Through the summer I've been doing occupational therapy.  It helps to prevent pain, but the healing process is taking much longer than I expected. Giving up violin for the past eight months has been one of the hardest things I've ever done.   I was aggravated because there was nothing I could do about it. I simply had to wait for my hand to heal. The greatest difficulty in giving up something you love is the fact that it is so much a part of your life. Violin is my back to joy, the very thing that pulls me up and sets me on my feet. At school I would spend hours in the music building playing, practicing, and listening to myself. But when I injured my hand, all of that disappeared.

I anxiously sought an answer or some explanation. "Lord why did this happen?" I prayed. But I found nothing. The brace I wore on my hand drew questions from people at school. But I hated explaining it; it made me so sad. Every day I grew more and more depressed.  The worst days were my violin lessons.  Despite my injury, my teacher still met with me to talk about my music. She had me write a paper on my Mozart piece since I couldn't play it.

This season of depression and pain drew me close to God. I felt him molding me as I realized this situation, this test of time, would become a testimony.  The very last orchestra rehearsal I attended was the one where I shared a devotion.  At that time, my conductor told me to sit in on rehearsal even though I couldn't play. This was miserable. I hated it not being able to play.  The devotion I shared was a testimony of what God was doing in my life.  I shared about my injury and the frustration it created.  But then I shared about the goodness and love of God. I know now that my life in not my own. But I realize that though God will let me bend, he won't let me break.


This morning I played violin.  It was so nice. My hand is still healing and often I endure a great deal of pain. But I am not anxious or worried about it. I merely take it one day at a time.